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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26724871">Darling, Where did you go?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordOfThePoptarts/pseuds/LordOfThePoptarts'>LordOfThePoptarts</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Overwatch (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blood and Violence, Body Horror, Deception, Doppelganger, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Fae &amp; Fairies, Gore, Horror, M/M, Mind Manipulation, Psychological Horror, Psychological Torture, Quests, Rape, Supernatural Elements, Teeth, Temporary Character Death, Torture, Unhealthy Relationships, Unreliable Narrator, author's inexplicable boner for the oregon coast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:47:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,089</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26724871</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordOfThePoptarts/pseuds/LordOfThePoptarts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hanzo was happy. He was with McCree, the love of his life, his other half, his shining sun. There was nothing in the universe that could keep them from one another. Hanzo was about to see how far the universe would really go to test that.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jesse McCree/Hanzo Shimada</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Danger &amp; Dread: A McHanzo Horror Collection</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Part 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <strong>Art by <a href="https://twitter.com/sukuiddo">Sukuiddo</a></strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hanzo woke up and the world tilted as he sat up in bed. It was quiet. Sunlight was streaming through the windows of their bedroom, outside he could hear birds singing, and the clucking of the chickens in their backyard. Beside him, his husband slept on, his breathing slow and even, matched the lazy pace of the morning. Hanzo smiled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lately all his mornings seemed to begin like this, in a slow meandering haze that was far too comfortable to fight off. Hanzo did fight it off this morning though, just a touch, just enough that he could roll out of bed and go downstairs to begin making breakfast. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he slowly made his way downstairs to the kitchen, Hanzo couldn’t help but smile, and look over all the pictures and knick knacks that made their home a home. He trailed his fingers lightly over the picture frames that lined the wall of the staircase. Pictures of Jesse and him with family and friends at birthdays, christmas parties, or on vacations. Hanzo paused at his favorite picture, it was a selfie, which was rather uncommon for the two of them. Neither of them were too interested in cataloging their relationship through photographs. Both were far happier living in the moment, and allowing others to catalogue it for them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That night was different though, the air between them had been electric and Hanzo had felt invincible. Jesse was pressed tightly against Hanzo, his arm extended to take the picture while he kissed Hanzo’s cheek. Hanzo was laughing in the photo, loudly. The two of them had been slightly drunk at the time, and after Jesse had decided to tell him an increasingly awful string of jokes. Before he knew it he’d been pressed up against Jesse and the picture was taken. At the time, Hanzo remembered how he’d demanded Jesse delete it, but now, now Hanzo was happy that Jesse hadn’t listened. Hanzo paused just a moment longer at the photo and sighed, smiling softly. He always loved how Jesse looked in the photo, happy, with wild hair and shining playful eyes that looked almost gold, despite the shitty lighting of the bar.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That night had been magical. Jesse had taken the two of them out to a bookstore, and enjoyed grilling Hanzo on various folklore until Hanzo could recite all the rules for the fey by heart. Then he’d taken them on a cemetary tour and they’d both done their best to scare the shit out of their tour guide, and after they’d laughed themselves silly, they’d gone to the bar. It was the only picture Hanzo had of that. It was his most prized possession. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanzo continued to the kitchen, pulling some eggs and bacon out of the fridge, along with some cheese. It’d been a while since they’d had omelettes despite the abundance of eggs they had from their flock, so Hanzo thought it would be a nice morning surprise. He flicked on the radio, some old thing Jesse had picked up in a thrift store somewhere, and set to work making breakfast while the morning news played softly in the background. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not too long later, he heard soft footfalls on the stairs as Jesse made his way towards him. No doubt driven from their bed by the lack of Hanzo, and the scent of bacon wafting upwards from the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without looking up, Hanzo nudged a cup of coffee across the counter. He knew he wasn’t likely to get a word out of Jesse until he’d had at least one, so he was rather surprised when Jesse wrapped himself around him, nuzzling into his neck. The coffee, forgotten on the counter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mornin’ sugar.” Jesse’s voice was still sleep soft and quiet as he pressed a kiss to Hanzo’s cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, beloved.” Hanzo smiled, and removed the now finished bacon from the pan, setting them aside before turning off the burner and facing his love properly. “Did you sleep well?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jesse hummed an affirmative, leaning in to give Hanzo a proper kiss this time. “Real good, ‘til someone decided to get up. Thought we were gonna have a lazy day?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanzo rolled his eyes and pulled out of Jesse’s hold to finish plating their food. As much as he adored affection from his husband, he loathed cold eggs more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “We are, but if I didn’t make breakfast, you would’ve been complaining about being hungry five minutes into our lazy day.” Hanzo shot a quick glance to the untouched coffee mug on the counter as the two of them made their way to the table. He paused to grab it, before following Jesse and sitting down. “You forgot your coffee.” He set it down in front of him, and smiled. “I’m surprised you’re coherent, you’re almost never this awake until you’ve had at least a cup of your boiled dirt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a moment, Hanzo thought he saw something akin to annoyance flicker across Jesse’s face, but wrote it off as a trick of the light, since the smile Jesse responded with was so slow, and easy, and quintessentially sleepy Jesse. “Aw darlin’, what if I told you, your smile is the only thing I need to wake up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanzo snorted and shook his head, “I would say drink your coffee, before you fall asleep in your food again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jesse’s smile was sheepish as he accepted the mug from Hanzo. “Whatever you say sugar.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanzo woke up, and the world tilted as he slowly pushed himself upright. Their lone rooster crowed loudly in the early morning light. Beside him, the bed was cold and empty. Hanzo couldn’t hear any other signs of life in the house, besides his own steady breathing. He sighed, and rolled out from under the covers, shivering slightly at the unexpected chill. He slowly wandered downstairs, not quite awake yet, and rubbed his eyes to rid them of the sleep that stubbornly hung on. He cast a quick glance at the shoes piled by the front door. Jesse’s old tennis shoes were gone, meaning he probably went for a run. This made Hanzo pause. The sun was just barely peeking over the horizon. Jesse only ran this early when he’d been unable to sleep. It was an easy way for him to burn off the excess energy that plagued him some nights. Hanzo was normally quite good at being able to tell when Jesse was in for a sleepless night. In fact, he couldn’t remember a time where he hadn’t known. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Hanzo had fallen asleep last night, his husband had been sleeping soundly. He supposed Jesse could’ve gotten up in the middle of the night, and been unable to go back to sleep, but the likelihood of that was low. Jesse was a heavy sleeper, once he was asleep it was nearly impossible to wake him up. On one memorable occasion, Jesse had even managed to sleep through a minor earthquake. It was just odd, Hanzo supposed, but he was not a mind reader. He couldn’t be right about his husband one hundred percent of the time. Hanzo shook his head and made his way downstairs. He was overthinking it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sun was high in the sky by the time Hanzo heard the front door open. He quickly marked his place in the book he was reading, and got up from the couch to go greet Jesse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jesse's smile was blindingly bright, when he saw Hanzo round the corner. His hair and shirt were drenched with sweat, seemingly the only acquiescence to the noon day heat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mornin’, darlin’!” Jesse toed off his shoes and winked at Hanzo. “Didn’t think I’d be gone so long, but I hit a groove and just…” Jesse shrugged and shot Hanzo an unapologetic smile. “Kept going, I guess. Didn’t keep you waiting long did I?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanzo tried not to think about how last week Jesse had promised they’d go to town today.Hanzo wanted to check out a new bookstore that had opened, as well as get some groceries. He tried not to think about how excited he’d been and how he’d marked it on the calendar, and both their phones. He especially didn’t think about how excited Jesse had seemed when he told him about how the store was supposed to have a surprisingly full section devoted to history, Jesse’s favorite genre. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead Hanzo smiled, leaned in close and pressed a quick kiss to his husband’s cheek despite the smell. He fought the frown that tried to surface as he noticed the notification for the trip clearly displayed on his husband’s phone as Jesse went to close his music app. Hanzo supposed they could go another time. It wasn’t the end of the world. He’d wait for Jesse to bring it up. He was sure he’d notice the notifications eventually. Hanzo wasn’t in the mood to mother him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jesse didn’t mention anything remotely related to the trip for the rest of the day. Not even when Hanzo hinted at needing something new to read when he finished his book later that evening. Jesse had just hummed distractedly, and pulled Hanzo closer to him, tucking him against his side, as the movie Jesse had put on an hour ago kept playing. Hanzo didn’t even try to follow the plot. Instead, he spent the rest of the movie watching Jesse. He watched as his emotions flickered and changed in time with each scene, how when he smiled you could see his laugh lines, how his eyes shone so bright in the low light, and how he hadn’t looked at Hanzo once, not even as the credits rolled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, as they were crawling into bed and he caught sight again of the obvious notification still displayed on Jesse’s phone, he brought it up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you want to go into town tomorrow?” Hanzo said, as casually as he could, giving Jesse an undeserved out. He purposely didn’t think about all the outs he’d given Jesse already. “The new bookstore we wanted to go to just opened, and we’re running low on almost everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” Jesse shot a confused look at Hanzo, before recovering and seeming to </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally</span>
  </em>
  <span> catch on. “Oh, yeah of course.” Jesse's smile was shy and gentle, as he softly squeezed Hanzo’s hand in apology. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to forget, was just a little scatter brained today, that’s all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanzo sighed and scooted across the space he’d left between the two of them, tucking himself against McCree’s side, like nothing at all was wrong, like he hadn’t felt like a fool the whole day. He was tired, and his husband was warm. “I put it in your phone for that exact reason, you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jesse laughed, and moved so they could lay comfortably, “I know, but you didn’t count on me forgetting to check my notifications, huh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanzo just smiled and shook his head, closing his eyes, and placed his head against Jesse’s heart, listening to the steady thump. “No, no I did not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll go tomorrow, okay? Scouts honor,” Jesse mumbled, already well on his way to dreamland. Hanzo always had a hard time staying mad at Jesse, especially over something so little like this. It just wasn’t worth the energy. Jesse almost never forgot their plans. Besides, they were going tomorrow. Hanzo squeezed his eyes closed, and wished away the odd feeling that had taken root in his stomach. It was nothing, Jesse’s behavior was odd, but normal for the man when he’d had one of his sleepless nights. Hanzo was overthinking it. He sighed slowly, relaxed, listening again to the beat of Jesse’s heart. It's rhythm measured and steady and constant, and he kept listening, until its gentle drum beat lulled him into sleep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanzo woke up, and the world tilted worryingly in front of him. He shut his eyes, and slowly rolled over, facing away from the too bright sun. He felt cold all over, despite it being the middle of summer. His body shook, despite the blankets on top of him. His stomach climbed into his mouth as he struggled to sit upright. He needed to get more blankets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jesse wasn’t in bed again, but Hanzo didn’t know what time it was, and Jesse had been getting up earlier and earlier anyway. It was likely his husband might not even be home. Hanzo called for him anyway. His voice raw and ragged as it scraped its way out of his throat. Jesse didn’t answer. Hanzo tried not to think about how Jesse would never leave him in this state. He remembered going to bed early last night. He hadn’t felt well. Jesse had promised to make him chicken noodle soup. His nausea rose. He told himself it was just because he was sick.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanzo’s legs felt coltish and unsteady beneath him. The whole room seemed to pitch and rock, like the deck of a ship in a storm, as he slowly made his way to the closet. He groaned as he took in the stack of blankets on the top shelf. He was so heavy, his limbs a thousand pounds. He didn’t know how he hadn't sunk through the floor. He took a deep breath, and reached, firmly grabbing the bottom blanket, and bringing the rest of the stack tumbling to the floor along with it. He grabbed them all, body aching and protesting, and slowly moved back towards the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The distance was endless, even though he knew that it was only a few feet at most. His teeth were chattering loudly now and the cold sapped the strength from him. He reached the bed, he didn’t know how, and hefted the blankets on top of it in one fell swoop. His stomach swooped as well, and that was enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanzo collapsed, barely making it to the wastebasket next to their bed, before the remnants of last night’s dinner made themselves known. He retched, and retched, and retched, until nothing was left, and then kept heaving. His head ached from the noise and the powerful stench of vomit. His nose and throat burned, even more than before, from the bile. He managed to push himself away from the toxic mess in the trash can when the vomit finally stopped coming. The bed seemed so tall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Hanzo crawled, not trusting his legs to stand, and not trusting his stomach to be able to handle another jostling. He braced himself, pushing up onto the bed, as his vomit made another valiant effort to rise despite his stomach being empty. Somehow, he managed to make it under the pile of blankets, groaning as the warmth began to seep into his body. He fumbled one hand out from under the warmth just long enough to grab his phone before retreating back inside his cocoon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He dialed Jesse. Jesse’s phone rang and vibrated from on top of their dresser.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanzo scrunched his eyes and swallowed heavily, tired and sore, and for the first time in a long time, close to tears as he heard Jesse’s voicemail intro. Jesse never forgot his phone, and he especially wouldn’t forget it if Hanzo was sick. Jesse had always been a mother hen. Hovering and constantly checking in even if it was something as small as a cold. Hanzo had had to beg him to leave him alone in the past; just to get some peace and quiet, and now...Jesse wasn’t here. Jesse wasn’t fucking here, and he didn’t fucking tell Hanzo, and he didn’t fucking take his phone, and Hanzo was tired and sick, and sick and tired of his husband. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> Hanzo had felt like a guest in his own home and relationship for months. Jesse had been so much like himself at times, but so different in others. Hanzo didn’t even know who he was living with anymore. It felt like someone had plucked the real Jesse from beside him, and placed an almost Jesse next to him, like he wouldn’t notice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This Jesse trimmed his beard regularly, and enjoyed mowing the lawn. He hated cats, even though he used to care for every stray that graced their porch. This Jesse couldn’t cook to save his life, even though Hanzo remembered last Christmas when Jesse had cooked him breakfast in bed, and everything was perfect. This Jesse hated waiting, and had no patience for children. He didn’t remember every chicken’s name, and had no gentleness left in his hands to coax the spring flowers back to life after the winter chill. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But, this Jesse still liked watching trash tv on Wednesdays, and could somehow still cook the best steak Hanzo had ever had, even that was all this Jesse could cook. He still tried food he hated, because of the what if. He loved learning, and would fill their house with books if Hanzo let him. He had a good poker face, but was horrible at Go Fish. He was kind, and sweet, and would cry at videos of dogs being reunited with their owners. He was so much like the Jesse Hanzo married, but Hanzo couldn’t ignore the differences anymore. He didn’t know where his Jesse went.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One time, in their favorite restaurant, Jesse’s food was wrong. Normally, he’d simply eat it. They both liked almost everything there anyway, so it wasn’t a big deal, but this time, Jesse got angry. He yelled, and screamed, and threw the plate on the floor. They were asked to leave. Hanzo had tried to stop him, but he’d honestly been so shocked he froze. He felt the stares of the staff and patrons as they walked out the door. He couldn’t help but notice the same emotions swirling within him, mirrored in their eyes. They got in the car, Hanzo hesitating at the door for just the slightest second, caught between the world that was and the world that now is. They drove away and neither of them said anything. In the morning, he’d found out Jesse had gone back and paid for everything and apologized. They were still not welcome back. Hanzo was angry. His world had shattered before him like the plate upon the floor, and he’d still gotten in the car. He couldn’t understand Jesse anymore, he wasn’t entirely sure he understood himself anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanzo coughed, long and hard, wincing as it scratched his already irritated throat. He was tired and in pain. He hated himself, because he still wanted his stranger of a husband, whoever he was, beside him. He still looked so much like him. Pretending was better than admitting something was wrong, was better than admitting he didn’t know whose shoes were in the hall closet, whose hat was on their coat rack, whose clothes were next to his in the dresser, who had kissed him last night like it was just another chore. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanzo’s heart clenched, and it wasn’t from the sickness. He let the phone he’d been clutching fall from his hands, and listened as it fell onto the ground. He didn’t care anymore. It was obvious this false Jesse didn’t either. His eyes felt so heavy, and his body ached so much. He fell asleep, trying not to imagine how joyous not waking up would be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Hanzo woke, Not Jesse was standing over their bed looking at his phone, his face bored and uninterested. He must’ve sensed some form of movement from Hanzo, because he looked down, smile wide. Too wide, Hanzo thought. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How ya feelin’ sunshine?” Hanzo opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out except for a weak croak. Not Jesse’s lips curled into an appropriate expression of sympathy. He smoothed Hanzo’s hair away from his clammy forehead, and for a moment Hanzo was glad he was too weak to move, because his mental recoil couldn’t translate into a physical one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry I wasn’t home. If I’d known you were sick I wouldn’t have gone out.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanzo nodded, and pretended like he understood. He didn’t have the energy to be angry, to say that he told Jesse last night. Instead, he curled deeper under the blankets. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You probably don’t feel like eating, huh? I was just gonna go downstairs and make some dinner, let me know if you want anything okay? I’ll have my phone on me.” Jesse smiled again, a little crooked, almost strained in its demeanor. “Just text me, alright.” He picked Hanzo’s phone up from the ground, and placed it in Hanzo’s weak grip, making sure he had a hold of it, before stepping away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanzo wanted to scream, and rage, and break things. He wanted to get out of bed and strangle this false Jesse until he listened, and told Hanzo where he’s keeping his husband. But instead, Hanzo nodded, rolled over, and tried to pretend that his pillow was simply wet from sweat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh! We’re out of cold medicine right now, so you’ll have to wait until tomorrow for me to go into town again. I just got back, but I think you’ll survive till then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanzo didn’t respond, he was too numb, too tired of pretending. He heard the door close, and Not Jesse’s footsteps descended the stairs. Hanzo’s stomach growled, and he glanced briefly at his phone, wondering if it’d be worth texting this stranger. He decided against it. His heart couldn’t take another round of artificial niceties. He squeezed his eyes shut, and tried to ignore the loud commercials playing on TV downstairs, and the banging of pots and pans in the kitchen. Sleep didn’t come for a long while. He watched the sun set, and the moon rise, and heard the intros to three different Netflix shows before, finally, there was blissful silence. Hanzo was so exhausted, he barely heard the bedroom door open and shut. He was hardly cognizant of the drawers opening, and clothes being changed. He felt the bed dip beside him. He was fast asleep before the stranger’s head even hit the pillow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanzo woke up, and the first thing he noticed was the slapping of skin, and an aching, burning sensation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Somewhere above him the stranger hissed in a voice so familiar. “God, sugar, you’re so tight.” Their hips snapped together, and the sound was the loudest Hanzo had ever heard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanzo couldn’t move. He was face down on the mattress. He tried to gather his limbs, to push up and away, to get out, to escape, but all he managed was a weak movement that seemed more like a welcome response to this monster’s movements instead of a desperate scramble.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah you like that? Like when I wake you up with a nice surprise.” Hanzo hissed as a hand smacked his ass. If there was anything left in his stomach to vomit, Hanzo would have. Instead all that came out is a gagging sob. The monster’s hand came down again, this time to soothe the burn. Hanzo tried to speak, but it was as if the monster had stolen his voice as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sound grew louder and the bed shook, the headboard hit the wall. Their breaths were in sync, and so loud. The monster spoke frequently. It sounded just like Jesse, even though Hanzo knew it wasn’t. His movements were fluid and familiar, and Hanzo’s mind was so tired, and shattered that he couldn't keep track of the differences anymore. Not that he wanted to, not that he cared to, not that he wanted anything other than everything to stop. He was drowning from the weight of it all. He squirmed, and an arm was pinned against his sweat slicked back. His hands clutched the pillow, pressed it tight over his face, until that too was yanked away, right as he was on the edge of miraculous darkness. He was numb and he was burning. His body was so present, yet his mind was detached and floating; disappearing into a sensationless haze of his own creation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt hands on his body, lifting him, moving him up and down. Hands grasped his chest, pinching, and pulling, and slapping. Words were said. He couldn’t understand them. Teeth marred the skin of his throat, and part of Hanzo cheered them on, told them to bite deeper and harder, pierce his jugular. Let his blood flow, and flow, until it filled the whole house, staining it as much as him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The monster’s lips touched his, and that was enough to break his daze. He squirmed, and bit, and fought until he tasted decay and smoke. He choked as his mouth was filled with a viscous fluid, and still the monster pressed on. He took, and he took, and he took, until Hanzo was nothing but an empty shell. Hanzo’s mind screamed, and his body ached. He didn’t know when, but it ended. He felt something thick and unnatural leak from his ass. The monster whispered softly in Hanzo’s ear, but his brain was too muddled to understand the meaning of anything other than how he ached. Distantly, he felt a washcloth cleaning his skin. The monster kissed him again. It did not feel like an apology. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blankets were pulled over his body, although their presence did nothing to warm him. Pills were placed on his tongue, and they were swallowed. He did not care what they would do to him. He did not think he had cared about living for a long time. His eyes grew heavy, and the fog that coated his mind thickened. The last thing he saw before he succumbed to sleep was the monster’s face smiling at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanzo woke up and the world tilted as he was gently moved. The hand on his forehead was warm, but irritating. He tried to kick the covers off, and winced as they stuck to his sweat soaked skin. The wielder of the hand chuckled and Hanzo froze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good to see the fever broke, you looked like you were having an awful nightmare, sweetheart.” The monster smiled softly, like he cared, like Hanzo couldn’t feel the aching burn, the awful remnants of the night before. He wished it were only a nightmare. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The monster frowned when Hanzo didn't respond. Gentle hands slowly guided him upright. “You feel like getting up and having some breakfast? Might do you some good to walk around for a bit.” Bile built in Hanzo’s throat, but he forced it back down. He nodded, if only to get this </span>
  <em>
    <span>thing</span>
  </em>
  <span> to stop touching him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The monster smiled, wide, too wide, and god, how did Hanzo never notice. The monster stood up and walked toward the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “I’ll get started on breakfast, you take your time.” Hanzo didn’t respond. The door closed and Hanzo let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gasped in air greedily, like a fish trapped on land, and stumbled his way to the bathroom. He barely made it to the toilet, before the contents of his stomach evacuated. The stench of decay was overpowering, stinging his eyes and nose, as he continued to retch. He opened his eyes, and immediately stumbled away from the bowl. It was full of maggots. He could feel them wriggling between his teeth, tearing through his gums, climbing through his nasal passage, and into his skull. He stumbled to the mirror and tried to scream, but his voice was stuck in his throat. His skin was grey and decaying. He watched as the maggots slowly ate away at first his skin, then the muscle, until he was only bone. His throat closed. He retched again, and the sink was filled with dead leaves coated in a dark viscous fluid. His mouth tasted like when he bit the monster last night. His hands were shaking apart into nothingness, his body was disintegrating around him, he was--.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hanzo! You okay in there, honey?” The world tilted, and stretched, and snapped back to normal. When he looked in the mirror, his skin was pale, but not decayed. The sink and toilet were empty. There were no maggots. He tested his voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am fine, I will be out in a moment.” He could speak for the first time in a long time. It was quiet, and small, but it was still there. Hanzo sighed, relieved to have something of himself back, even if it was a small victory. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanzo dressed slowly, mindful of how tired he still was. He walked downstairs. He didn’t look at the pictures now. He didn’t know when his Jesse was taken from him. He didn’t know which were real. He didn’t want to admire a monster. The monster was in the kitchen, making breakfast. He was humming a tune from one of Jesse’s favorite westerns. Hanzo could snap his neck. He imagined shoving the monster’s face into the gas burner and letting the flesh burn and sizzle. How he’d scream, how satisfying it would be, but then the face turned back into Jesse’s, his Jesse. The smile, not too wide, eyes not dull, everything as it should be. Hanzo was burning his only love to death, and he couldn’t force himself to do it; he couldn't force himself to kill the monster because in the end it always turned back into his Jesse. Maybe the monster was Jesse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a plate of bacon and eggs in front of him now. Hanzo looked up, the monster was smiling, too wide. It’s teeth were too sharp, too white, too perfect. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eat up, sugar! Gotta get your strength back.” The monster’s voice was soothing, in a way. It crawled through his ears and down his spine. He ate. Before him, the monster performed, doing his best impression of Jesse, and Hanzo watched. He didn’t know how he ever thought this creature was Jesse. Every movement he made, every word out of his mouth was wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“By the way, you got a letter in the mail the other day.” The monster slid it across the counter toward Hanzo. There was no return address or sender name on the envelope. The monster stood and stretched. Its shirt rode up and he winked. Hanzo was disgusted. “I’ll leave you to it, okay? Best get to cleaning the chicken coop before the critters get too mad at me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The monster left. The screen door banged against its frame in his wake, and Hanzo was left alone with the letter. He turned the envelope over, but there wasn’t any information on the back either. All that was on it was his name and address. Hanzo opened it and carefully pulled its contents out. The first thing he saw was a map, somewhere in Nebraska, going by the title. There was a small red dot next to a highway with an arrow pointing to it. He felt something soft pressed against the back of the map. Hanzo’s breath caught as soon as he saw it. It was a piece of Jesse’s serape, the one that had been curiously absent from their home, and the monster. Its color was just as he remembered; a vivid red with a gorgeous gold geometric pattern. It was only a small piece, but it was everything. Hanzo slowly brought it up to his face. It smelled like Jesse; the scent of hard work, tobacco, and sunshine. Hanzo’s eyes drifted from the serape to the last item, a handwritten letter. He absently rubbed the serape between his fingers as he read.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span> Hi darlin’,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m sure you’ve figured out by now that the man you’ve been living with is not the man you married. I never wanted to leave you, not for a second, but life sure can be a bitch. It’s all set now though, you can finally come home to me, sugar. I can’t say that the path won’t be difficult, but I promise you, if you love me, it will all be worth it. My heart aches that I can’t make this clearer for you, or easier, but that’s just how these things go. Just know that I’m waiting for you, and that I love you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yours,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Jesse</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanzo didn’t think, he stood and walked back upstairs to a bedroom that hasn’t felt like his in so long. He took a bag down from the shelf in the closet and packed what he could. Jesse didn’t tell him how long it would take to see him again. It didn’t take long. Hanzo left most everything behind, only grabbing some clothes and bare necessities. He paused only once, on his way downstairs to look at the pictures they had taken together once more. His eyes skimmed over their wedding photos, Christmases with friends, parties, before finally stopping on the photo from the bar. Hanzo didn’t know how, but somehow he knew, this picture was real. He took it from the wall, and tucked it safely into his bag. He didn’t look back again, not when he walked out of the front door, not when the monster called his name, and not when he got in the car, and drove as fast as he could away from the house that is not his home. There was no reason to look back. Jesse was somewhere ahead waiting for him, and Hanzo was going to find him.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Part 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Hanzo drove, and drove, and the world tilted, and swayed, and moved ever onward around him. He hadn’t been driving long, maybe six hours, from the ranch house he used to share with his husband in Wyoming. He didn’t care what Google said, the entire state of Nebraska had to be the world’s flattest place. He’d been driving through the state for hours now and he didn’t think he'd even seen one tiny bump. He sighed and fiddled with the radio dial once more, trying to get some actual music rather than advertisements. He gave up when another noxiously cheery jingle for another car dealership filtered through the speakers. The sun was setting, but dark clouds lurked on the horizon. A storm was coming.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Weather changed quickly in this part of the country, sunny one minute and snowing the next. Hanzo had learned to just keep a heavy coat within reach at all times. He grabbed it now, shivering in the front seat, and turning on the heater as snow beat down. The only good thing about having to drive so far was it gave him time to think. He’d been doing a lot of that lately. He hadn’t driven very far when he'd had to stop and get a hotel. He'd underestimated how much the exhaustion and lingering sickness would affect his body and had been stuck in bed for several days, alone with his thoughts and shitty cable television. Now that he was finally closing in on his destination, he had more questions than answers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jesse’s letter was so cryptic. Hanzo couldn’t understand why he was being sent on some glorified scavenger hunt, when Jesse could simply tell him where he was. Part of Hanzo was secretly hoping Jesse would just be there, at this first stop, and they could go home together and forget he ever left. That this long nightmare was just that, a nightmare. In his more sane moments, Hanzo wondered if this was all a hallucination. Maybe he’d snapped and had a nervous breakdown, or his Jesse never existed, or there was a Jesse and he was the monster. Hanzo would’ve talked himself in circles going over all the what ifs if he allowed himself. He tried not to, most of the time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo risked a quick glance at the map again. He'd tried placing the location into his map app to begin with, but the minute he hit enter his phone freaked out and overheated before powering off completely. Hanzo had thought it was broken, but after plugging it into his charger, it started right up. When it had done the same thing when he tried again, he’d given up and just used the map Jesse sent him. The map was old, and covered in ring marks from coffee, and one corner was so dogeared Hanzo was afraid it would fall off at any moment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The map itself was odd, to say the least. It was just a map of Nebraska, which in itself would not be all that odd, however some of the places on it just seemed...unnatural. Giant craters that couldn’t possibly exist, a lake that covered a quarter of the state, giant metropolises where there was only farmland according to every other map. It just didn’t make sense. However, it did have several impossibly good diners on it that he couldn’t find anywhere else, so he supposed the strangeness could get a pass. His stop was just off Interstate 80 anyway, nowhere near anything strange. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Speaking of his stop, his quick check of the map confirmed he would be there within minutes. A blue sign rose out of the snowy darkness as he approached his exit, advertising a gas station. Hanzo frowned and glanced down once more to check, but this was the exit. It was the only thing close enough to the highway to be his destination. He sighed and suppressed a yawn, taking the exit. He needed to get gas anyway. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The off ramp was unlit, the only light around for miles the bright LEDs of the gas station sign. A cheery display with palm trees surrounding a car proudly declaring he’d arrived at ‘Petrol Paradise.’ Hanzo couldn’t help but think it was a little odd that the sign said petrol, he hadn’t seen any other gas stations in America refer to themselves as such, but perhaps they were just really going for the alliteration. When Hanzo pulled up to a pump and stepped out, it was dead quiet. Despite how close to the highway he was, it was like it didn’t exist. All he could hear was the slight humming of the overhead lights, and the rush of the wind as it blew gently around him. His hands were stiff and cold in the chilled night air and his breath came out as giant plumes of fog. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He put the fuel dispenser in his car and fiddled with it for a few moments, but the handle remained loose and the numbers on the gas pump didn’t change. Hanzo looked around when the gas failed to pump again, and suddenly there was someone else here with him. A huge man was inside the gas station sweeping the floor. Hanzo approached, and the door jingled softly above him as it opened. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The man turned to him with a smile so bright it could rival the sun.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> “Ah! Welcome, my friend. How can I help you today!” The man was even larger up close, a veritable mountain of muscle. Hanzo couldn’t help but notice the large scar on his cloudy white left eye. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m looking for someone. They said they might be here?” If this was the place Hanzo was supposed to be, he supposed there was no harm in asking, getting gas could wait.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hmmm, there’s no one else here but me and you, but I know someone left me something to give to someone who matches your description. It may take a while to retrieve. May I have your name?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo couldn’t explain why, but suddenly the air was rife with tension, even though the other man’s face was still so kind, so serene. Hanzo wasn’t sure why, but he knew this was a test. For some reason, he remembered Jesse telling him about a book of Irish folklore he’d been reading. How the fey were a part of everyday life, and the different ways people would protect themselves. Hanzo also remembered Jesse telling him how names were important, how they were powerful. Hanzo knew he couldn't give his real name. It may have been crazy, but that’d been his life recently.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You may call me Sora.” The tension in the air snapped, like a twig in an otherwise silent forest, and the huge man’s smile dimmed for a moment before returning full force. He laughed loud and long.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I suppose you would be a clever one. In that case you may call me Reinhardt.” Hanzo nodded, and Reinhardt turned away from him, headed toward the back of the store. “Wait here.” With that Reinhardt opened a door, beyond which was only an endless blackness, and disappeared inside.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The gas station was startlingly silent with just Hanzo inside. Most of the machines were turned off and the only lights on were some neon running around the walls, safety lights, and the lights from the coolers. There was no humming like the LEDs outside, just the sound of his own breathing. Hanzo waited, his eyes fixed on the door, but Reinhardt did not emerge. A long minute passed. There was still no sound, and no sign of the giant. Hanzo glanced outside and his heart leapt into his throat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was no sign of the gas pumps, the highway, his car, or anything else that should’ve been outside. Just the same deep penetrating blackness that haunted the other side of the door Reinhardt walked through. Its color was deep, endless, and disorienting. Hanzo swore he saw gigantic roiling creatures oozing and creeping through the black expanse, but they disappeared the moment he blinked or turned away. Turning away from the window, it was like he’d entered another world inside as well. A wall of overpowering stench rushed at him, as his eyes raked over the aisles of now putrid and rotting food. The coolers were so thick with ice that he couldn't see within them. The counter, the floor, the ceiling, all of it looked as if it would give way at any moment. The only thing still pure, and untouched in the whole building was the door Reinhardt walked through. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It called to him, beckoning him closer, past the aisles of ruined candy and potato chips. Past the coolers now full of hands pounding at the doors, demanding to be let out. Past everything, until he was standing before the door, waiting. His mind ached as it filled with images of treasure and luxury, pleasure beyond his wildest imagination. He saw himself sitting upon a mountain of gold, surrounded by creatures so beautiful he couldn’t look at them for fear he’d go blind. He tasted the wine as it flowed down his throat, glorious in its complexity and richness. The food was bountiful and fantastic, like nothing on earth, like nothing in this universe, Hanzo couldn’t even begin to describe the taste. And there at last, before him, was Jesse. Lovely beautiful Jesse, incredible, amazing Jesse, with his arms outstretched to Hanzo, beckoning him to come home, to come back to him. Just like he’d promised.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His Jesse, whose smile now had far too many teeth, and whose skin was cold and dead, and whose voice echoed in Hanzo’s ears, over, and over, and over, screaming in agony. Hanzo watched as he withered and reformed. An endless painful cycle that could all be stopped if he just opened the door. All he had to do was open the door. Hanzo looked into the eyes of this Jesse, tried to ignore the screaming, tried to ignore the way the skin sloughed off his face, and truly see what was before him. Jesse’s eyes were the one thing that remained, they were brown and dull, and dead, and unremarkable, and Hanzo knew. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The voices grew louder, pleading him to save his husband, to open the door, to stop all this suffering. Hanzo did not listen. Even though his body was so heavy, like he’d been encased in a million pounds of concrete, he managed to turn away, and everything snapped back. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The gas station was exactly how it was when he’d entered, pristine. All the shelves lined with whole unexpired foods, the coolers filled with unassuming drinks, everything was the same. Hanzo supposed this may have been what Jesse meant by his path being difficult.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you alright, my friend? You look pale.” Hanzo hadn’t even heard Reinhardt return from wherever the door led; he’d been too focused on slowing his breathing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, I am alright.” Hanzo turned to him. He was smiling just like before, and in his hands he held an envelope, and a tiny wooden box. Reinhardt handed them both to Hanzo. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There is still the matter of payment.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Payment?” Hanzo clutched the envelope close to his chest, the tiny box dug into his hand. “What is required?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just a mere token, something of great import to you.” Reinhardt’s smile was wide, too wide, and chilled Hanzo to the bone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo didn’t speak. His mind raced as he desperately thought of something, anything. Then he remembered. The picture. The one photo that was real.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His hands shook as they dug into his backpack and pulled the picture out. He looked at it one last time. How happy they had been, how McCree’s eyes shone gold in the light, how Hanzo had been smiling. He shut his eyes and hastily offered the picture. It would do no good to dwell. It would only make it harder. This was a necessary sacrifice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This will do nicely.” Reinhardt’s smile was all teeth. “Best be on your way, then. You have a long journey ahead of you.” Reinhardt calmly picked up his broom once again and began sweeping. Hanzo walked to the door, but paused just before he stepped outside.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I appreciate your assistance.” Hanzo said it kindly, but making it clear this was not another transaction. Reinhardt’s milky white eye swirled and gleamed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s hope you continue to keep your wits about you...Sora.” Hanzo nodded, accepting the warning for what it was, and left the store. He took the gas nozzle out of his car, and placed it carefully back where it belonged. He didn’t stop to check the envelope, or the box, until he was miles away from the gas station. He didn’t want any hesitation to be considered an invitation for further business. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once Hanzo felt he could breathe properly again, his anxiety lessening with every mile he put between him and that place, he pulled over at a rest stop and opened the envelope. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>If you’re reading this, glad to see you’ve made it this far, sugar.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I know Reinhardt can be a lot sometimes, so forgive him for the dramatics. I’m hoping that you were actually listening to me when I was always rambling about old folktales, and hopefully you’re realizing they weren’t just tales. If I could, I’d be there with you right now. I’d hold you so tightly you’d beg me to let go, and then I’d hold on tighter, but rules are rules, no matter how much I wish otherwise. Luckily, there are no rules about giving you an advantage. I hope you’ll forgive me for stealing your wedding ring and changing it a bit. Hurt me more than it hurt your feelings, I’m sure, but I don’t want anyone to touch you but me. Wear it always.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Yours,</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Jesse</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo sighed shakily, and carefully opened the small wooden box. What McCree said was true, inside was his wedding ring. Hanzo barked out a laugh, glancing at his bare ring finger. He truly hadn’t noticed its absence. He supposed he had too much on his mind, what with slowly learning his husband was not who he thought he was. Hanzo’s lungs threatened to close once again as he remembered that night. The one where the monster took, and took, and took, and gave nothing in return. He closed his eyes until the world stopped spinning, and his skin stopped crawling, and his mind stopped replaying all the horrible sounds. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He took the ring out of the box and slowly held it up to the overhead light. The once gold band was now a stark dull grey. The inside was smooth and shone if held just so in the light, but the outside was rough and looked almost like a worn sidewalk. Hanzo frowned, his brow furrowed. He liked to think he wasn’t picky about appearances, his original ring certainly hadn’t been flashy, but this was something else. He put the ring on anyway. Anything from Jesse was something to be treasured. Especially since it’d been so long since he’d seen him, the real him. Hanzo didn’t think he’d ever truly know when the monster replaced Jesse. He didn’t want to think about it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo carefully folded the note and put it, and the box, away in his bag with the first note from Jesse. Another map had been included in the envelope, this one appeared to be somewhere in New Mexico, roughly around Roswell. Hanzo smiled briefly, remembering the trip him and Jesse had taken a few years ago. They’d both wanted to visit as many haunted or weird places as they could, and Roswell had of course made the list. Hanzo had taken back more than his fair share of alien themed souvenirs. He started the car and quickly tapped directions to the nearest hotel into his phone. It was a decent trek, and if all his encounters this trip were going to be in the same vein as the last, he was going to need all the sleep he could get. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>New Mexico’s landscape was partially similar to Nebraska’s, lots of sage and brown, although it was less flat. He was still about thirty minutes away from his destination, some kind of bar from what he could tell, although he couldn’t be sure, given how his map app had reacted in Nebraska. The drive had been relatively uneventful and the map uninteresting. Unlike Nebraska, New Mexico was mostly as it appeared. There were places here and there that were oddities, but overall the state stayed the same. He slowed as he passed through an intersection with a lone blinking yellow light. He’d left the highway some time ago; the map McCree had left said to take an exit, and he’d been driving on poorly maintained back roads ever since. It was night again. He was beginning to wonder if all these meetings were going to take place in darkness; McCree did have a flair for the dramatic. He kept a close watch on the sides of the road. The last thing he needed to do was run over a coyote.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo was glad he had been paying attention when a girl suddenly appeared in the middle of the road, her arm extended and thumb upright. He’d barely managed to stop in time, but the girl didn’t seem to care; she just did a happy little bounce and ran over to his driver side window and gestured for him to roll it down. He did, warily. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The girl was a bright oddity against the landscape, even in total darkness. The lower half of her hair was dyed neon purple, and her clothes matched it. She had to have thousands of LED’s running throughout her clothes and hair, making her look like a walking neon sign. Hanzo didn’t know how he didn’t see her sooner. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you mind if I hitch a ride, </span>
  <em>
    <span>amigo</span>
  </em>
  <span>? I’m not going very far, just to Roswell.” The girl was calm and relaxed, like she was hailing a cab rather than hanging out in the middle of the desert. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Stories of murders and burglaries ran through Hanzo’s head before McCree’s voice burst through the noise. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Listen to your gut. You never know who you’re turning down.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo thought for a moment. She was a girl who appeared out of thin air, in the middle of the desert with nothing around for miles, right after a crossroads. Crossroads didn’t exactly have positive connotations, but he couldn’t help but feel that turning her down would do him more harm than good. He couldn’t explain it, just like last time where he’d refused to give his name. Maybe he was the crazy one after all.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I suppose, we are going in the same direction.” Hanzo unlocked the passenger side door, and the girl’s smile almost seemed manic before it faded into an easy-going smirk. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two of them drove in silence, neither of them speaking or looking at each other. The two of them just stared out into the darkness. Hanzo pretended not to notice the shimmer of eyes that seemed to follow them, no matter their speed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, Sora--clever trick by the way--what brings you to this part of the world?” The girl looked at him intently, like she truly cared about his answer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I am looking for someone. They said they might be here.” Hanzo didn’t ask for her name, and didn’t ask how she knew the fake name he’d given Reinhardt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oooh, gotta love fetch quests. Hopefully we haven’t made it too boring for you.” She reached down and fiddled with the radio, tuning to a station filled only with static, and the occasional voice saying a string of numbers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The girl smiled wide, her teeth were sharp and glinted unnaturally in the darkness. “Yes, </span>
  <em>
    <span>we</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I’d be happy to tell you who we are...for a price, of course.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course.” Hanzo replied. “I appreciate the offer, however this is a fetch quest, like you said. I’m sure I’ll receive everything I need there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The girl leaned forward now, and turned the radio up louder until the static buzzed and hissed and popped in Hanzo’s ears like a million firecrackers exploding at once. Still her voice rang crystal clear in his head. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And what if you never reach your next stop? Humans live such short lives anyway, I could keep you stuck in this desert as long as it takes. I’m sure it won’t be long until your tongue shrivels in your throat and your bones fall back to dust. An eternity to you is just five minutes for me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo’s hands gripped the wheel, his knuckles white as he struggled to keep the car on the road as the asphalt cracked and heaved underneath them. The eyes had been following him now lined the road, an endless sea of glittering green, yellow, and red.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You humans are truly disgusting, you know?” The girl wasn’t even looking at him anymore, but her smile, her horribly wrong smile was still plastered across her face. “You’re never happy with what we give you. I give you a happy ending, the same person who you loved and cherished, and you’re still not satisfied. Still have to come slobbering and chasing after the unknown, the what was, like a rabid dog after his next hunk of flesh.” The eyes were so close now, they lined the windows and the sides of the car, Hanzo could hear many somethings breathing and growling. “I could fix this all. You know, tell you where the real Jesse is and send you there with just a snap of my fingers.” The static was louder now, so loud Hanzo couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. A pair of eyes stared directly into his, shining white teeth parted in a cruel smile, slobber dripped from its maw highlighted by the moon. “You wouldn’t even have to lift a finger, all you’d have to give me is one little favor, just one favor. Don’t you want that? Don’t you want to go home, don’t you want this all to be over? Don’t you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The noise was unbearable. Hanzo couldn’t stop himself. He took his hands off the wheel and slammed them over his ears, and yet the cacophony grew impossibly louder. His chest was tight, he felt teeth on his throat, talons on his eyes, and he screamed. A deafening howl of pain and grief burst forth from his lungs with the last breath he could draw. He screamed, and screamed, and screamed, until it was the only noise left. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The girl laughed at him from the passenger seat. Her smile was still so wide and wrong when he opened his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s been too long since I’ve got to mess with someone so fun, Sora.” Hanzo didn’t know when they had gotten to the edge of town, but the lights were the only glimmer left in the dark. He slammed on the brakes and stopped the car.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are you doing this?” Hanzo’s voice was quiet and rasping, the only sign that something had ever not been right.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Because I can, and because I owed a favor. He didn’t say anything about making sure you got here sane, although I’m sure he wouldn’t appreciate it. Unfortunately I kinda like the guy, so you got off easy. A little light teasing never hurt anyone.” She kicked her feet on the dash, yawning wide before turning and smiling at Hanzo once more. “My stop’s just up here. I’ll go get what your hubby left you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo simply nodded and started to drive. He didn’t speak as they pulled into the parking lot of the bar Jesse had marked on the map. His hands shook as the girl disappeared into the bar. His hands fumbled for his door handle, and barely managed to yank it open before vomiting all over the pavement below. The fear was still thick in his throat, making him choke and cough as he struggled to breathe through the panic and the sick. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Those eyes still haunted his mind and their depths threatened to swallow him whole. He couldn’t imagine what would’ve happened to him if she had chosen to keep him there, trapped in the desert. He didn’t know how long he would’ve lasted. His grip on reality was already so thin, he doubted it would’ve been long.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo wiped his mouth and closed his eyes, focusing only on his breath moving in and out, in and out. Until the noise that screamed in his brain was replaced by the sound of his breathing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jesus, you don’t look so good.” The girl was back in front of him. Hanzo didn’t look up, instead staring down at her feet. “Here.” He felt something nudge the side of his head. “You look like you could use a little pick me up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo looked up now and the girl was frowning, her eyebrows pinched and drawn. In one hand she held an envelope and another small box, in the other was a glass of water. Hanzo’s hands still shook as he reached out to take the glass. It felt like ages since he’d had a drink of water, his mouth was as dry as the desert around him. He knew he’d die without this glass of water. He needed this water, he couldn’t go on without it. He touched the glass, and his ring touched the tip of the girl’s finger.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Mierda!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” The girl instantly pulled back her hand, the glass of water shattering upon the pavement along with illusion. “Should’ve known Jesse would’ve pulled some bullshit like that.” She thrust the envelope and box at him. “You’re lucky he cares enough to watch out for you, </span>
  <em>
    <span>pendejo</span>
  </em>
  <span>, or you would’ve been dead a thousand times over.” With that she turned and walked back into the bar, not even sparing him another glance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo threw the envelope and box into the passenger seat, and threw the car in drive. He didn’t even stop to put on a seatbelt, just drove until he hit the northern border and then kept driving, until his car was running on fumes, and he limped it into a gas station. </span>
</p>
<p><span><br/></span> <em><span>Hi darlin’</span></em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>If you’re reading this it means that Sombra must’ve decided to be helpful for once in her life. Hopefully she didn’t give you too hard of a time. You’re getting awfully close to me, sugar, and unfortunately that means the kiddy gloves gotta come off. I’ve been making it pretty easy for you, but that’s gotta stop now if you really wanna find me. No map from me this time. Instinct is better than a piece of paper anyway. That’s not to say I can’t give you one last gift to ease the journey ahead, but be careful how often you use it. They’ll lead in the right direction, but if they break, you’ll need to replace them immediately. It’s just the rules. I know this must be hard for you, but this’ll all be worth it, I promise. I won’t fault you if you don’t wanna keep going. Lord knows, I’m asking a lot. I’ll love you, no matter your choice.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Yours,</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Jesse</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The box in the passenger seat mocked Hanzo. He could hardly look at it, without a massive wave of anger surging through him. Jesse kept saying this would all be worth it, but Hanzo had a hard time imagining a future where he would be happy again, with all the sacrifices he’d made, and all the ones he was still being asked to make. He checked the note, time and time again, sure that he’d missed something, but the contents always remained the same. The note held no clues to his husband’s whereabouts, and the small box held eight teeth, molars if he had to guess. The teeth looked old and brittle, stained yellow from time and decay with small cracks running along each tooth’s surface.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’d pulled over somewhere in Colorado, and stopped at a Walmart to get food and necessary supplies he had to hope he’d never use. The pliers lay in their place of honor in the center console. He didn’t want to do this, but he couldn’t go back home, there was nothing for him there now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shuddered looking at the pliers, it was difficult to imagine pulling his own tooth. He’d never even had something like that done at a dentist, he couldn’t imagine how it would feel on his own with nothing to numb himself. Jesse had said he wouldn’t mind if Hanzo quit, and part of Hanzo wanted to. He really did. All he’d been gifted since Jesse left was misery and pain, and his own husband was asking him to put himself in more agony. He shut his eyes and pressed his hands against them until stars pulsed behind his lids. He didn’t know if he could do this. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He thought of the infinite darkness in the gas station that threatened to swallow him whole, another Jesse screaming and writhing before him, a thousand eyes following him over a thousand miles, over a thousand roads, and they too wanted to destroy him. He thought of the girl, and her hatred, and her too wide smile, so much like the monster he’d left behind at the house that was no longer a home. He thought of it, the monster that wore Jesse’s face for so long Hanzo thought it was him. And he thought about himself. How far he’d come with no more proof than a piece of paper and a promise. How he’d lived, despite everything trying to kill him,  and how Jesse was still waiting for him and still loved him, despite it all. Hanzo would remove all his teeth if that is what led him back to Jesse. To his home, to his love, to his everything. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo took a deep breath, and flung the teeth onto the opened atlas. None shattered, and he breathed a sigh of relief. They’d coalesced around Oregon, framing its border neatly. Hanzo sighed, and gently folded the map, averse to using the teeth again so soon. He’d use them once he was well within the state. He didn’t want to risk himself unnecessarily. He slapped his face a few times to wake himself and turned the engine over. It would be another long night. Hanzo didn’t think he’d ever get used to it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo stopped when he reached the border, some little town surrounded by farmland and desert named Ontario. He slept in the Walmart parking lot, tired and sore from the journey. The sun burned his eyes when he woke some time later. He headed inside to buy another map and some food before his stomach tried to swallow him whole. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo held the teeth in his palm again, his grip firm, but his hand shaky. The state looked impossibly large. He can only hope luck is on his side. He threw the teeth onto the map, his breath trapped in his chest in the endless seconds it took them to touch the paper. Two shattered on impact.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo scrambled and swallowed the scream that tried to claw and scrape from his throat. The pliers were in the glovebox. He cursed as he shoved aside the endless maps and bullshit that he’d stuffed in there until his hands grasped the head of them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t hesitate, he didn’t know if he had the time, or the right to. He opened his mouth, and winced at the tapping of metal on bone. He gripped his farthest molar. He swallowed, his mouth slick from his panicked breathing, but the grip of the pliers was solid. Hanzo pulled. Hanzo screamed. The tooth dropped to the map, bloody and broken, and missing one of its roots. Hanzo could still feel it, open and wailing, in his gums. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, but he was, and his hand shook as it lifted the pliers again. The metal clicked and tapped against the teeth as he reached into the other side of his mouth. His mouth ached as he gripped another molar. This time held even more tightly, and pulled, and pulled, and pulled until it flew out with a sickly crackling pop. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This time the tooth was intact, even if Hanzo was not. Hanzo dropped the tooth onto the map, where its bloody brother already laid. Hanzo breathed, and cried, and went back again, this time with his fingers and nails, desperately trying to dig out the root, but all he got was more blood, and more pain, and more tears. Hanzo winced as he stuffed gauze into the empty wells where his molars once were, and turned once again to the map. Blood and spit marred the landscape, filling the valleys and mountains, but Hanzo could still see where he needed to go. The coast, although he couldn’t even begin to guess the city. He gathered the teeth again, and flipped to another page, this one a close up of the region. Again, he threw the teeth, and held his breath, and waited. They did not break, and Hanzo could almost cry again, this time in relief. He knew where he needed to go, he knew where Jesse was. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jesse always loved history, even the most miniscule of events had intrigued him. He’d traveled all over to thousands of historical sites before meeting Hanzo. One of his favorites was rather insignificant. It was a shipwreck, right at the tip of Oregon called the Peter Iredale. While Jesse did love learning the history behind it, the wreck and ship itself were rather unassuming. She had been sailing from Salina Cruz, Mexico, when she had run aground trying to enter the Columbia River, due to fog and a rising tide. The ship had been largely undamaged in the wreck, and there were plans to tow it back to sea. But, by the time the weather was good enough the ship had listed to the left, embedding itself in the sand. Her captain’s final words to her were, “May God bless you, and may your bones bleach the sand.” Hanzo always thought that was beautiful in a deeply saddening way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jesse had been the one to share the quote with Hanzo. Jesse loved the ship because you could go and touch her, climb in the bones and see her age before your eyes. The two of them had visited multiple times. They had forgotten to check the tide once, but still waded out to her anyway, although Jesse had to save Hanzo from being pulled off his feet more than a few times. Hanzo liked her for much the same reasons as Jesse. The feel of the metal under his hands, the barnacles clinging to her frame, the act of leaving something behind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was dark when Hanzo arrived. He couldn’t see anything other than the sand dune in front of him, illuminated by his headlights. It was raining, and though he couldn’t see it, the ocean was loud, angry. All he could hear was the sound of the waves crashing against the beach, and the wind howling around him. Hanzo got out of the car, wrapping his coat tightly around him, and carefully picked his way down to the beach. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was high tide, and with the ocean the way it was, Hanzo wouldn’t dare wading out to the wreck. He stayed close to the dunes, dodging the tide as it came in. From what he could see, he looked to be alone on the beach. The water and sand stung his face as the wind whipped around him and he could feel the cold seeping into his bones. He didn’t see Jesse anywhere. There was no way he got the location wrong, this had to be it. Anxiety gripped his chest as he searched further and further, even wading into the water, braving the current that tried to pull his legs out from under him. Hanzo didn’t know where Jesse was. Maybe this whole trip was some fucked up dream, and he’d wake up and Jesse would be home with him, and they would be happy. Hanzo told himself this, but he still couldn’t believe it. He didn’t think he ever believed it. He knew Jesse left, he knew the people he met were not human, he knew deep down that Jesse was waiting for him, he knew…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo sank to his knees. He was so incredibly tired. He wailed and cried and beat his fists against the sand, not caring as it burned. He didn’t care as the water climbed higher around his feet and seeped into his clothes, chilling him completely. He didn’t care when the clouds parted and the moon’s light illuminated the wreck, the ocean, the whole damn beach, because there was still no Jesse. All he wanted was to see Jesse.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jesse!” Hanzo screamed and waded further into the water. What was the point of all this? He came all this way, went through so many awful things, so much pain and suffering, and now at the end there was nothing to show for it. His throat burned as he gasped for air. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jesse!” He could barely hear himself over the ocean’s frenzy</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I missed hearing your voice, darlin’.” Hanzo froze, his mouth shutting with a click. The voice was unmistakable. It cut through the storm swirling around them and burrowed directly into his heart, where it had always been. Hanzo turned, slowly, his caution barely overcoming his excitement. It had been so long, Hanzo wasn’t sure he could take another trick.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jesse?” His voice was tentative, no longer a mournful scream. He could hardly believe what he’s seeing. “Is that really you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you really have to ask?” And no, Hanzo didn’t. He knew just by Jesse’s smile, the cadence of his voice, his hands as they gripped Hanzo’s own, rough and calloused but still so soft. “I’m here. I’m really here.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo didn’t wait another moment. He crashed into Jesse, wrapping his arms around him and holding him as tight as he dared. He was shaking, Hanzo realized belatedly, as Jesse gently carded his fingers through his hair. Jesse didn’t stop until Hanzo stilled, assured by his husband’s presence.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I missed you.” Jesse’s voice was soft, yet loud in the sudden quiet. The storm that had once whipped around them seemed to have calmed for the moment. “I would’ve had you in my arms a lot sooner, but there are some rules even I can’t break.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo stepped back reluctantly. “What do you mean by rules? You kept mentioning them in your letters. Is that why you left?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jesse stepped forward, pulling Hanzo back into his arms, “I promise I’ll tell you all about it, just let me hold you a little longer.” Hanzo could feel him sigh into his hair. “It’s been so long, sugar.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> Hanzo relaxed into Jesse's hold. It was comforting, just listening to the other breathing accompanied by the soft sound of waves hitting the shore. Jesse hummed and leaned in closer, and Hanzo tilted his head to accommodate him. Jesse started slow, with a barely there kiss against his temple, and Hanzo practically melted, it felt like the universe exploding and expanding all at once, something monumental after months of loneliness. Jesse kissed his eyes, his nose, his cheeks, and finally his mouth. He pressed in so gently, and so carefully, and Hanzo, Hanzo forgot where he even was. He felt as if he was floating, and falling, and flying all at once. He felt time stop as they broke apart for air, and just looked at each other. He felt warmth rise and fill every unknown inch of his body when they started again. But most importantly, he felt Jesse. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His lips were slightly chapped, in the way they always were, and the monster’s never were. He felt the rough scratch of Jesse’s beard, and Hanzo brought his hands up to cup his husband’s face. He let them wander through Jesse’s hair, which was still impossibly soft. He felt Jesse’s arms around him, strong and reliable, as they held his weak legs upright. He felt Jesse’s mouth begin to wander, just like Hanzo’s hands, and couldn't help the sigh that escaped him as Jesse brushed a particularly sensitive spot on his neck. He felt his hands grip the rough fabric of Jesse’s flannel, and cursed the layers between them, and almost like Jesse could hear Hanzo’s thoughts, he shrugged it off, and chuckled at the blush that crept up Hanzo’s neck in response.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was an urgency to their actions now, yet neither of them moved to hasten their pace. Hanzo took off his jacket, a part of him thought he should be freezing, but all he could feel was a deep penetrating warmth as Jesse sucked and bit and kissed at his throat. Hanzo closed his eyes and let it happen. He tried, once, to stop him, to return the favor, to do more with his hands than grip and hold on, but Jesse just pulled him back in with a sharp look, and started again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo felt like he was going to shatter. He felt possessed. He felt like he was going to kill Jesse if he sucked one more goddamn hickey onto his neck. He pushed his husband away, and resisted his attempts to pull him back in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think it’s time we moved on to the main event, don’t you?” Hanzo swore he saw Jesse’s eyes flash gold as the tension between the two of them snapped. Jesse made quick work of the rest of Hanzo’s clothes. Jesse pushed him against the sand and then quickly undressed himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo let the sand run through his fingers, and raised an eyebrow at Jesse as he joined him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We are going to regret this later.” Hanzo said, already imagining the uncomfortable feeling of sand where sand shouldn’t be.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jesse laughed and leaned in, giving him another searing kiss. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But that’s later, ain’t it, sugar?” Jesse smiled and kissed Hanzo again, before giving his nipple a mean, hard pinch. Hanzo couldn’t find the energy to argue further after that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jesse was everywhere, but where Hanzo wanted him. He bucked his hips but Jesse only clicked his tongue and pinned him down before continuing to explore practically every inch of Hanzo.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> Jesse took one nipple into his mouth, sucking the bud until it hardened to match the other. Hanzo moaned, and couldn't stop his hands from flying up and gripping Jesse’s hair, when he felt Jesse’s teeth graze the sensitive peak. Jesse’s hands weren’t still either; they groped and massaged his tits, and pinched and tugged and pulled whichever nipple wasn’t currently occupied by his wicked tongue. Jesse slapped his chest and unbidden, the memory of the monster doing the same flashed into Hanzo’s mind, and he managed to catch Jesse’s hand before it came down again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No hitting.” Hanzo’s voice was a whisper, so quiet it was barely there, but Jesse heard him all the same. He looked sad. Hanzo didn’t know if he knew, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. Instead, he said the words that had never left his tongue, this whole time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you.” And it felt like enough.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jesse smiled and kissed him, and Hanzo’s breath left his lungs as he melted into it. He let his husband take and take and take, until he was nothing but a boneless pile of contentment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He floated for a while, aware of his body, and of Jesse, but unwilling to come back down. He felt pleasure. Everything was warm and tingling as Jesse fell on him like a starving man. Hanzo was happy to give him what he needed. He jumped when Jesse’s hands finally wandered to his cock. He didn’t know how long he'd been floating in that warm darkness. Jesse was saying something, but Hanzo couldn’t be bothered to hear. Instead he bucked his hips again, and this time Jesse let him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jesse’s hands were magic, Hanzo was convinced. He was slow and sure, but Hanzo felt his orgasm build with every movement. He knew he was moaning, but it all felt far away. Part of Hanzo thought he should be worried. Hanzo shoved that part far away when Jesse twisted his hand just right, making him cry out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo was euphoric. Jesse gently worked him higher, and higher, and higher, until Hanzo couldn’t bear it anymore. He twisted, he bucked, he whined, he moaned. He felt feral with need, both for his release, and for Jesse. He couldn’t seem to find the words for anything other than Jesse’s name, tumbling from his lips like a holy prayer. Slowly, Jesse took him into his mouth and Hanzo felt everything at once, and then nothing at all. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jesse was there when he came back to himself, slowly running his fingers through Hanzo’s hair. Hanzo could almost cry at how much he'd missed this. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Welcome back to the land of the living.” Jesse’s smiling and Hanzo was too. A quick glance down at Jesse’s crotch, showed the night wasn’t over yet. Jesse just smiled wider and held up a packet of lube.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know whether to be happy or exasperated that you brought lube. I haven’t seen you in months.” Hanzo’s voice was far too fond.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe I just know you that well, huh darlin’.” Jesse wasted no time ripping open the packet, and wetting his fingers. Hanzo hissed at the cold as Jesse slowly eased a finger inside. Neither of them had the patience for the soft slow pace from before. Hanzo ground his hips back and Jesse added another finger a little too quickly. Hanzo winced at the stretch, but he didn’t care. He just wanted Jesse. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There are times when Hanzo could truly appreciate his husband's efficiency. Now was one of them, as he worked him open quickly, while still ensuring he was stretched enough. Hanzo pulled Jesse into a kiss, the two of them colliding together, and Hanzo moaned as Jesse managed to brush his sweet spot. Reluctantly, he pulled away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m ready.” Hanzo had never been more sure of anything in his life.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jesse, his Jesse, looked wild as he replied. “You always were.” He didn't waste another moment and pushed in. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo swore at the initial stretch, but Jesse soothed him as he slowly worked in. When he bottomed out, Hanzo swore he saw stars. The two of them rested there, in that moment, just looking at each other, enjoying the feeling of being together. The moonlight was soft as it caressed Jesse’s face. He was so gorgeous.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Move.” Hanzo said. The air was electric, and with Jesse smiling down at him, the world seemed to finally snap back into place. Hanzo took a deep breath, and Jesse, Jesse moved. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo’s breath left his chest. Jesse was still smiling down at him, but it was different. His eyes were alight with a golden fire, and he looked almost manic as he thrust deep into Hanzo. Hanzo felt fear begin to seep into his bones.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for this.” Jesse’s voice was too loud in his ears, and he tried to push himself away, but Jesse pinned him to the sand. Jesse’s smile was gentle, but incredibly sharp. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t worry darlin’. It’ll all be worth it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo wished to answer, to ask a million questions, but his voice had deserted him, and Jesse was still thrusting, and he couldn't gather any of his thoughts, when Jesse purposefully kept grazing his prostate.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve never met anyone like you, Hanzo.” Jesse was still talking, and Hanzo couldn’t focus. His head ached, and his vision was blurry whenever he tried to look at Jesse, who seemed bigger than before. </span>
</p>
<p><span>“I had to jump through so many hoops to get here, to give you this gift. I ain’t ever owed a favor in my life, darlin’, and now I owe one of the most dangerous people in the realm.” Jesse hand stroked his face and it felt, wrong, rough and hard, where there was once softness. “Everything I do, I do for you.”</span><span><br/></span> <span>“Jesse…” Hanzo’s voice cut off again as he whimpered in pain. His headache grew. He could barely concentrate on anything.</span></p>
<p>
  <span>“I know, I know it hurts, sugar, but it’ll be over soon.” Jesse pulled him into a kiss, and Hanzo wished he could struggle, but he didn’t have the energy. There were too many teeth, against his, and the weight on his body was so great he couldn’t breathe. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s gonna hurt, Hanzo. I can’t lie to you. I’m not sorry, though, I just couldn’t bear the thought of losing you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jesse leaned down again and Hanzo could smell his breath. It smelled like the dry air that blew across an empty desert, carrion, oases, a stark coldness, honey, dry tinder set aflame. Hanzo couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t see. He couldn’t think.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I killed him, you know.” Jesse’s hands were wrong, so wrong, as they touched his face. Long and spindly, and scratching, a thousand needles punctured his skin. </span>
</p>
<p><span>“That bastard knew not to touch you, but he did anyway. You won’t ever have to worry about him again, Hanzo. I took care of him.” Everything felt like it was too much, and not enough, and Hanzo just wanted it all to stop.</span><span><br/></span> <span>“Jesse…” Hanzo didn’t think he could say anything else. Hanzo didn’t know if he ever could. He felt like his whole world began and ended with Jesse. Jesse thrust again, this time nailing his prostate, and Hanzo’s orgasms rose and broke and he screamed. He screamed in pain, in pleasure, in confusion. He screamed, and fell into blackness.</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo woke up and the world tilted alarmingly. He felt groggy and unfocused. He tried to sit up, but his body wasn’t responding. He buried the panic that tried to rise in his chest, and tried again, barely managing a twitch. Somewhere above him, there was the sound of wet meat being torn from bone. Hanzo’s heard this sound before. Back when he was a child, the neighborhood dogs had gotten ahold of a kitten, and by the time Hanzo arrived...there was nothing he could do. Hanzo didn’t try to sit up again, and instead raised his head, which seemed to be the only part of him he could move. He looked up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wished he hadn’t.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jesse, or something that used to be Jesse, towered over Hanzo. He was grotesque, in an alarmingly beautiful way. Jesse was tall, very tall. Hanzo could see the ridges of his spine peeking through the skin of his back. His hands were long, nimble and quick and they brought hunks of flesh to his face. One was an odd mottled green with small spikes littering it’s surface, almost like a cactus. His legs were thick and hairy, with paws where feet should be. And his face, his face was still Jesse’s, but twisted, taken to another level. The eyes were the same, but brilliantly golden, and his mouth had too many teeth, his smile was too wide. Hanzo could see the gore that clung to them as Jesse lifted another piece of skin to his mouth. There were thick growths sprouting from his head, almost like the branches of a dead tree. His hair was long, and that at least, Hanzo thinks, is the same. Yet, there was no comfort to be found in similarities.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo looked down, and wished he hadn’t.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His body was open, he could see his ribs, his muscles, the sinew, everything. If he had an esophagus left he knew he’d vomit, but there’s nothing there. He shouldn’t be alive. How was he alive? Hanzo must have made a sound, because Jesse stopped eating his liver. Oh my god that was his fucking liver, and the panic Hanzo buried returns full force.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His chest cavity was an open oozing wound, his ribcage was cracked and shattered and scattered in the sand next to him. His lungs were missing, most of his intestines, his stomach, he looked over and his legs were gone too. All that’s left of them were two bloody stumps that ended mid thigh. Hanzo could still see the bone peeking out. The sand below them was red, so impossibly red. Hanzo gagged, he didn’t know how he did, since he had no lungs, but he did. Jesse looked at him and smiled and Hanzo’s heart, which was still beating, how was it still beating, skipped a beat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jesse pressed his head down, and Hanzo couldn’t fight him, couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything but let this creature devour him. Hanzo cursed the hope that had brought him here. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shhhh darlin’.” Jesse's hand was hot against his forehead, and Hanzo could feel the blood and gore squish into his skin. “You’re not supposed to be awake yet, sweetheart.” Jesse closed his eyes, careful of his claws that protruded from every finger. Hanzo wanted to laugh at how gentle he was when he was tearing him asunder. “Go back to sleep.” Hanzo, desperate to escape what surely couldn’t be reality, did.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo woke up and the world was always as it should be. The sun was shining and he was on a beach. There was a shipwreck in the distance, and the early morning light shone upon it’s rusted shell, making it gleam. The ocean was calm as it gently lapped against his feet from where they lay in the water. Hanzo didn’t know how he got here. He was not quite sure why he knew his name was Hanzo either, but it felt true. Hanzo stood, and fell immediately. His legs felt unsure beneath him, like he’d never used them before. Hanzo didn’t know how that could be possible. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo was not alone he realized, as someone grabbed his arm to raise him back to his feet. They steadied him too, as the two of them began to walk across the beach. The stranger was familiar but it took Hanzo a good long while to remember them. Hanzo didn’t know how far they’d walked, but he knew he couldn’t see the shipwreck any longer. The beach had long since turned to grass beneath their feet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jesse?” Hanzo’s voice was tentative in his chest, and for a minute he thought it sounded wrong, but that thought was quickly brushed aside. His voice had always sounded like the ocean crashing against the rocks, wood snapping under immeasurable weight, the cry of birds on the wind. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The other man smiled, wide, and with just the right amount of teeth. “That’s right, darlin’.” And Hanzo felt relieved and overjoyed to make him smile so.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two of them walked some more, Hanzo didn’t know how long, or how far, but eventually they reached a lake and Jesse pulled them to a stop. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The man smiled again, and Hanzo’s heart fluttered. “I want to show you something, Hanzo.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanzo didn’t know how Jesse knew his name, or even how he knew Jesse. He just knew that Jesse was his, and he was Jesse’s. There was no need to question it. It just was. Jesse led the two of them to the lake and Hanzo looked down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a moment, Hanzo was startled. He wasn’t sure why, it was his own reflection and had always been, but it felt like he was seeing himself for the first time. His hair was long and cascaded around him like a waterfall, a deep black that shifted to blue and back as the light changed. His eyes were sharp, a brilliant glowing green, and when he smiled, he too had the right amount of teeth, sharp and wicked. Two golden antlers rose high out of either side of his head, twisting and turning in a mesmerizing pattern. His skin was covered in luminous scales that pulsed and gleamed, never seeming to stay the same shade. His hands were clawed at the end, as were his toes, thick bulky talons that reeked of power. His forearms, calves, and back, were covered in a downy white fur that was soft to the touch. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked at Jesse. He was still smiling, and it still made Hanzo’s heart ache. He was beautiful, like every part of the desert came together to form the perfect being. But Hanzo couldn’t tear himself away from those eyes, so bright and golden like the sun.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jesse grabbed his hand and Hanzo let him. Every inch of him knew he’d follow this man anywhere, even to death. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jesse pulled them along,and Hanzo laughed, joyous and carefree. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Where are we going?” His voice sounded like sunshower.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jesse smiled at him again, Hanzo doesn’t know if he ever stopped, and pulled him close, kissing him like he'd break apart at any moment. Hanzo felt whole, like he’d never felt before. They broke apart and pressed their foreheads together, branches and antlers tangling.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Home, darlin’.” Jesse's voice was soft and sweet, a warm night with no wind and endless stars. “We’re going home.”</span>
</p>
<p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Forgot to add on the last chapter there's some massive inspiration here from the Calgary Keys which are an excellent short story creepy pasta thing and you should read them. Again, comment if you liked it and feed my deep incessant ravenous ego and check out the other fics in the Danger and Dread collection.<br/>My twitter: twitter.com/noroomforghosts</p>
<p>Sukuiddo Twitter: twitter.com/sukuiddo</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Tada my main piece for the Danger and Dread zine, ain't they a beaut? If you couldn't tell Danger and Dread pushed me full tilt into the horror scene and I have a fic I'm really wanting to finish by Halloween just so I have something else spooky to post, but no promises. Also no worries, I'm not done writing fluff forever lol. I'll definitely have some of that coming up too. I really hoped you enjoyed it, this was my first major foray into the horror scene and I think I did pretty okay. If you liked it, leave a comment to feed my all seeing ego! Also, check out the other pieces in the Danger and Dread Compliation they're all amazing.<br/>The awesome art is courtesy of Sukuiddo!!! Links to twitter and art is below!<br/>Sukuiddo Twitter: https://twitter.com/sukuiddo<br/>Direct Link to their art: https://twitter.com/sukuiddo/status/1310942879032979459</p></blockquote></div></div>
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